Snapes Nightmare
by AccioSev
Summary: Dumbledore and the Hogwarts staff take a trip to Disneyland, Snape is less than thrilled.
1. A Hogwarts Field Trip

I do not own Harry Potter, but I wish I did

I do not own Harry Potter, but I wish I did.

Once again it was the end of the year and Professor Snape was happy to see all the children board the train and go. 'Finally' he thought, 'now I can get some real work done and possibly some rest.' He did not know how wrong he was. Later in the day a staff meeting was called for the teachers who would not be going home over the summer holidays. Severus was the first to arrive other than the Headmaster. Then fallowed shortly behind him came Minerva McGonagall joined soon by Rubius Hagrid who promptly took up most of the room at the staff table. Just as Hagrid sat down tiny Professor Flitwick arrived and took a seat. Dumbledor was about to start the meeting when Sible Trelawney breezed in late as usual her long green shawls fluttering behind her.

She looked around as if afraid to sit down. Her eyes caught sight of Argus Filtch in the corner. "I am afraid I can not join you. . ." she said mistily. My addition to the group would make seven. Filtch rolled his eyes and left the room. He had not intended on staying in the first place. When at last Trelawny had seated herself everyone turned their attention to the Dumbledor. Wondering what the purpose of this meeting was.

"As you all know a trip has been planed." Dumbledor paused to watch the looks of anticipation on the remaining staff members faces . . "To Disneyland." Immediately

Conversation broke out amongst the staff. Snape turned an interesting shade of green and looked like he was going to be sick at the thought of attending a trip to "The Happiest Place on Earth" Minerva looked pleased at the thought of a Muggle theme park. Hagrid had the widest grin of all plastered across his face. Dumbledor gave a loud clap and everyone settled down and returned there focus to the Headmaster. "Now then," he began

"The trip will take place one week from now. And I suggest you pack sunscreen Severus, you will be needing it." Snape slouched in his chair mumbling something about a plan to suddenly fall ill. Dumbledor smirked and continued to give details about the trip but Snape was no longer listening.

One week later all six of them were gathered in the great hall with their luggage.

"Where may I ask are we apparating to?" Snape asked with a board tone of voice. Dumbledor looked at him in surprise. "Apparating? Severus this is a road trip we will be taking Muggle transport for most of the trip. After we reach London the train will take us to Kings Cross Station. Then we will travel by car to the airport." Snape had a look of shock and disbelief on his face as did the rest of the Hogwarts staff. Hagrid didn't look like he minded neither did McGonagall, but professor Flitwick took a step back from Snape who looked like he was about to Crucio someone. Trelawney chose this time to speak. In the sudden silence her wispy voice was heard clearly. "I foresee doom!" For once in her life McGonagall half agreed with the divination teacher.


	2. Hogwarts Express

Hogwarts Express

Hogwarts Express

I own nothing but my brain and I lost that last week if you've seen it please send it back!

One hour later everyone boarded the train. Severus immediately went to the back of the train and slammed the compartment door shut. McGonagall and Dumbledore along with Flitwick chose the teachers compartment. Which left Hagrid alone to sit with Sible Trelawney. This was going to be a very long trip he thought to himself, looking over at Trelawney who was busy shuffling a deck of tarot cards and muttering to herself.

At the back of the train Severus was glad to have a compartment all to himself. He opened his bag and pulled out a potions journal he had began to read earlier in the week. But he was tired and soon fell asleep leaning against the window of the train. Later he was interrupted by a loud banging on the compartment door. Disoriented he looked around, his potions journal was on the floor and he lay slumped over in his seat. He straightened himself not wanting anyone at the door to know he had been caught sleeping. "Enter" he growled. Hagrid opened the door and looked in and saw a disheveled Snape sitting on the bench by the window. His hair was sticking to the side of his face and the potions journal still lay on the floor.

"Um. . sorry to have disturbed yer nap." Snape glared at Hagrid but Hagrid didn't seem to notice. He continued as if Snape hadn't reacted at all. "Professor Dumbledore, he sent me to tell you that were here and to see if, well, to see if you were all right seeing as your still on the train." Snape gave his most evil glare "What do you mean still on the train?" he hissed "Where is everyone else?" For the first time Hagrid seemed to notice that Snape was in a rather horrible mood. He cringed and said "Well everyone's waitin outside for ya." At this statement Severus stood up and grabbed his potions journal off the floor. He stuffed it into his bag and pushed past a startled Hagrid and exited the Train.

As he stepped off the train onto platform he caught the attention of the staff. They all stared at him. "What?" he hissed. McGonagall decided to speak up. "Severus I love what you've done with your hair." She remarked trying not to laugh. "My hair?" he asked slightly annoyed. "Yes, I love what you've done with it." She repeated. Her statement finally seemed to hit him. He turned to look at his reflection in the glass windows on the train. His hair on the left side was still matted to his face. And on the right it was sticking up in every direction. A look of horror crossed his face and he hurried to smooth down his tangled hair. He could hear muffled laughter coming from behind him. "If you are quite finished I think we should be going now." He growled and stalked off in the direction of the waiting car.

AN: The Idea for messing up Snapes hair came watching my brothers comb their hair they look remarkably like Snape but are disturbingly cheerful people. I myself look closer to Hermione and am anything but cheerful.


	3. The Plane

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I own nothing but my brain, it escaped last week. If you've seen it please send it back.

All six of them walked into the airport and everyone turned to look. Snape stood dark and towering next to a tiny Professor Flitwick. Trelawney was not much better with her flowing robes of green and purple. Hagrid drew the most attention and hid the rest of the staff. In all they looked very odd grouped together in the lobby of the muggle airport.

"Perhaps we should go and change into more appropriate attire?" commented McGonagall. "I guess that would be a wise decision." Dumbledore responded.

He pulled out a bag and presented it to the five witches and wizards in front of him.

They looked at him for a moment as if to question what he was doing. Then Hagrid finally spoke up. "What have you got in the bag professor?" Dumbledore grinned and replied "You will see. I have selected some muggle clothing for you to wear." Snape sneered at the bag Dumbledore held in his hand as if the bag had just insulted him.

"I assure you Severus the clothing will not hurt you." Snape looked shocked for a moment then quickly fixed a bored expression over his face.

Everyone took clothing from the bag and went to go change. McGonagall headed to the bathroom with a red pants suit and Trelawney followed closely behind with a purple dress shirt and skirt to match. Dumbledore pulled out a tie dye tee shirt and some faded jeans he looked hilarious. Snape was horrified that he might get something similar. At last everyone had gotten their clothing. Flitwick was in a pinstriped suit and Hagrid had on a giant jean jacket and a pair of jeans with a tee shirt. Snape reached inside the bag and pulled out a black Green Day tee shirt and black jeans. He raised his eyebrow at the clothing that had been chosen for him. He reached back inside and pulled out a pair of black tennis shoes. Just as he pulled his hand out the bag disappeared with a POP. He looked around to see if anyone had noticed, But no one was paying attention to them any more.

When they boarded the plane everyone took their assigned seats. Snape immediately grabbed a pillow and shoved it under his head. "Wake me up when we get to California."

"Severus, we still have to take off. You might want to put on your seat belt." Snape opened one eye and replied "What do you mean? How does this 'air plane' work?"

McGonagall laughed. "You will see soon enough."

The woman sitting in front of Snape turned around and smiled at him. "Hello my name is April. Is this your first time on an air plane?" Snape gave her a glare that obviously meant that she should turn around and mind her own business. She didn't seem to notice. "We will lift off any minute now, that will be a little bumpy but once we get up in the air we should be fine." She continued.

"The air" Snape repeated quietly, a look of horror crossing his face. The thought of how the 'air plane' would get to California had not crossed his mind. Flying made sense

McGonagall noticed the change in behavior in the man seated next to her. He went from calm and relaxed to almost panicked. He whispered to her "Minerva, you didn't tell me this thing flies!" She looked surprised for a moment. "Severus, I was under the impression that you knew what an air plane was. And why would flying be a problem?" she asked.

Snape didn't answer he had his head pressed against the back of the seat and his fingers were digging into the arm rests. Dumbledore leaned over from two seats over and said. "Don't worry Severus you're perfectly safe, just don't look down." Snape looked to his right and to his complete and utter horror discovered a window. He fumbled for his carry on luggage and searched frantically through its contents until he pulled out a small blue vile. He unscrewed the top and drank the entire thing. "Severus I believe the airline would like its passengers to refrain from committing suicide until after the plain has landed." Dumbledore said with a grin. "Sod off" replied Snape right before his head fell to the side and he began to snore.

AN: I have never been on a plane or to an airport please forgive any mistakes. And please review it gives me the courage to continue.


	4. Chi Tea

All I own is my mind and I still can't find that

All I own is my mind and I still can't find that!

Several hours later Severus was awakened by McGonagall who had a half annoyed look upon her face. "You know you snore really loud?" Snape gave her an evil look and proceeded to get his carry on items and exit with the rest of the people on the plane. As he stepped outside he had to shield himself from being assaulted by the heat coming off the concrete of the runway. "I hope you remembered that sunscreen Severus or you are going to resemble a tomato before this trip is through." said Dumbledore coming up right behind him. Snape glared at the sun as if daring it to shine. He immediately regretted it when he looked away and saw purple and green spots before him.

"Headmaster Dumbledore, sir, how exactly are we going to the hotel?" Hagrid asked once every one was off the plane. "We will be apparating from here one at a time." Dumbledore replied. "Where will our destination be?" asked McGonagall. Dumbledore pulled out a worn piece of paper from one of his pockets. "I believe we are staying at the Hyatt Hotel on Harbor and Chapman just a few blocks down from the theme park it self."

All six of them disappeared one by one leaving no trace of them selves behind.

"All right is everyone present and accounted for?" Dumbledore took a head count, "One, two, three, four, five?" he looked around confused for a moment. "We seem to be missing someone." Snape smirked "Perhaps if you counted yourself. . ." Dumbledore seemed stunned "Oh yes, thank you Severus." Dumbledore went to the front desk to check them into their rooms. While he did that Snape took the time to look around the lobby of the hotel. He had to admit it was rather nice.

The hallway opened up to a large cavernous area that housed a dinning area a food court and a front desk. Sunlight was streaming in through the windows that were all along the front of the lobby. Snape continued to look around until he spotted a Starbucks in the corner of the lobby. Suddenly deciding he was thirsty, and that he wanted to find out what kind of coffee they had, he crossed the lobby and entered the small coffee shop.

As soon as he walked in the warm smells of Coffee, chocolate and vanilla washed over him. He smiled. The girl behind the counter took that as her que to start making conversation. She began to chatter away. Snapes smile quickly vanished. He sighed with an air of defeat He looked through the lists of coffees and teas and selected Chi Tea. He placed the correct amount of money on the counter and hoped the girl would not try to continue her attempts at conversation. When the girl asked what name the order was under he said Snape. He did not think she would be able to spell Severus if her life had depended on it. When he got his drink he looked at the tiny printed name on the side of the cup and grimaced. It said snake.

Snape walked into the lobby with his Chi Tea. He raised the cup to his lips and took a tentative sip and nearly spat the liquid back out. It was syrupy sweet and had way too much cinnamon. "Whatcha got there Snape?" Hagrid asked "The most horrible imitation of tea known to man" He replied bitterly. Hagrid laughed and picked up his luggage heading toward the elevators. "Well aren't you coming?" Snape sighed and looked at his small amount of luggage. He considered using a levitating charm but remembered that this place was crawling with muggles. He doubted he could get away with it without one of them noticing. He bent over grabbed his luggage and fallowed after the rest of the Hogwarts staff.

AN: Yes there is a Hyatt hotel down the street from Disneyland. Please review


	5. The Pool

Later that day Severus sat on one of the two beds in the hotel room as far as he could tell the rest of the staff had gone to

Later that day Severus sat on one of the two beds in the hotel room as far as he could tell the rest of the staff had gone to explore the hotel. Severus was sharing a room with Dumbledore. That was going to fun if you enjoyed getting nagged to death. Snape put his head in his hands. 'I'm not going to survive.' He thought. 'It could be worse. At least I'm not across the hall with Minerva and Sybil who are most likely trying to kill each other by now. If we get really lucky Hagrid won't step on Flitwick.' His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door.

When he answered it Dumbledore stood there looking confused. "I know I had my key earlier, ah there it is!" He said pointing to the abandoned key on the night table next to the bed. Dumbledore rummaged through his belongings and pulled out a pair of Orange swim trunks. Snape raised an eyebrow. As if to question what was going on. "Severus. . .some of the staff have discovered a pool and have decided to go swimming. Albus looked at Severus questioningly. "Would you like to come?" Snape frowned "I can't... I don't know how to swim." He admitted. Dumbledore smiled don't worry Severus the pool is only 3 ft deep in the shallow end and with your considerable height, I seriously doubt you will drown."

Snape scowled at him "Fine do you have an extra pair of shorts?" Dumbledore tossed him a pair of white shorts and went into the bathroom to change. When they were both ready to go Severus headed for the door on his way out he passed the mirror, and did a double take. There stood before him the palest person he had ever seen. "Just perfect, next I will be mistaken for a Hogwarts ghost!"

When they got down to the pool Hagrid and Minerva were already there. There was no one else. One cannon ball from Hagrid had sent them all running away. Severus wondered why there was still water in the pool. Seeing how much Hagrid had sent spilling over the side there should be none left. Minerva had taken refuge in the shallow end to give Hagrid some room. When Snape stepped through the door both Minerva and Hagrid paused in what they were doing and tried not to laugh at him but failed. He scowled at them in return and continued to get into the pool.

He walked around the Shallow end for a while until he noticed that Manerva Hagrid and Dumbledore where in the corner snickering at him. He raised an eyebrow at them. "And what might I ask do you find so fascinating?" McGonagal swam over to him and said "You know Severus, It won't kill you to get your Hair wet." As she said this Dumbledor and Hagrid had snuck up behind him. All three of them began to throw water on him. Severus backed away rapidly to get away from the wall of water that was coming at him, He tripped and fell backwards. He tried to cry out but all he got was a mouth full of water. He flailed his arms around him wildly in desperation, all he found was water. The Chlorine began to sting his eyes and invade his nostrils. Something grabbed his ankle and attempted to pull him up. Dizzy with panic and running out of oxygen he attacked it with his last ounce of strength. He kicked it and hit at anything he could reach before the darkness encompassed him and everything went black.

I love cliffhangers don't you.


	6. Frustration

"Severus

"Severus! Severus!"

A voice called out urgently. He opened his eyes hesitantly, the world around him slowly coming into focus.  
"Oh, thank the gods you're alive! We thought you had died."

Snape could feel the hard concrete, surrounding the pool, beneath his back. He rolled to one side in an attempt to get up, and for his efforts was thrown into a coughing fit. Hagrid scooped up his gigantic towel and covered the potions master, then made an effort to help him up. Snape glared up at the half giant and growled.

"I can do it myself."

_Real Life: he then promptly fell on his face. someone called 911. Then Snape spent the rest of his vacation in the hospital,  
screaming at nurses and flinging bed pans at unwanted visitors._

He stood up hesitantly and wrapped the towel around his pale waist. Snape turned to glare at the three staff members that had worried expressions painted across their faces. Then stalked out of the room slamming the door behind him.

"I'm afraid we may have gone a bit too far." Commented Dumbledore.

"Severus will not easily forgive us for this." Mcgonagall frowned " As if he wasn't in a rotten enough mood to begin with. He will be twice as bad now that he's convinced that we all conspired to kill him."

A Dripping wet, severely pissed off Snape stalked down the hall toward his hotel room. He glared at anyone who dared to make eye contact, and promised death to anyone who tried to speak to him. When he got to the door, he reached out and grabbed the knob. It would not turn. Snape gave a silent scream of frustration, then kicked the door with his bare foot. Instantly pain shot up his leg, he grabbed his injured foot and began hopping in place swearing under his breath in every language he knew. He then limped down the hall in defeat. He would have to go retrieve the key from the pool room. Severus pushed the button for the elevator impatiently. He counted to twenty five, the doors still had not opened.

AN: I am so sorry, School got in the way...my story notebook got torn to pieces mysteriously, and I have a very short attention span.  
I now have to write most of it over. The good news is that for me it is summer break and I have nothing else to do. The bad news is I have computer time limit restrictions and can only type about 45 words per minute. Plus, I have to edit everything I write by my self. My trial run of microsoft word has expired and I'm stuck useing the windows notepad!! grrrrrr.


	7. Here We Go

After the count of twenty five, the elevator doors still had refused to open

After the count of twenty five, the elevator doors still had refused to open. Severus, already annoyed cursed under his breath and headed towards the stairwell. He took the stairs two at a time all the way down to the first floor where the pool was located. Slightly out of breath he reentered the pool area. he looked around the tables and chairs for his missing key. He spotted it at the far end of the sitting area. He grabbed his key and headed back up to the room, noticing the rest of the Hogwarts staff must have had similar ideas. leaving the empty pool behind he decided this time he would wait for the elevator. He stepped in and just as the doors where closing a small woman with large amounts of bushy hair entered the elevator with him.

As she turned around Severus immediately realized that he was in hell.

"Hello Severus," she breathed in her annoyingly misty voice. "I see it is a wonderful day for a swim. Yet my inner eye foresees trouble in the form of asphyxiation. I can feel myself gasping for air, Struggling to reach the surface! Severus your aura is positively pulsing with dark energy! I fear for your life!!" she exclaimed.

Just then the doors opened with a soft ding. A very annoyed Snape thanked every deity he could think of, and ran the rest of the way down the hall. He got to the door and franticly jammed the key into the slot, watching over his shoulder as Trelawny advanced closer and closer down the hall. He pried the door open and slammed it shut. facing a highly amused Dumbledore. Severus waited in terror for the knocking that was sure to fallow. He breathed out a sigh of relief when it never came. He realized that she must have gone back to her own room and with any luck he wouldn't have to speak to her again until tomorrow.

The next day Severus woke up early got dressed and showered. He grabbed the potions Journal he was reading on the train and settled down in a comfortable chair, completely ignoring Dumbledore's morning routine. Snape winced when he heard faint traces of an off key rendition of 'The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow' drifting from the bathroom.

Later there was a knock on the door. Dumbledore let in Hagrid and Flitwick. Flitwick it seemed had not been stepped on, but looked distinctly nervous whenever the half giant shifted or moved too fast. Next entered Trelawny and Mcgonagall who where both locked in and intense glaring contest to see who would back down first. Snape continued reading hoping that if he remained quiet enough no one would notice him. His hopes where shattered when Hagrid said in a loud booming voice.

"Ger' mornin professor! what are yer readin?"

Snape glared at him, but once again Hagrid was oblivious.

"Well then, I believe thats everyone." Albus said.

He then produced a port key. Snape looked at the portkey, then glared at Dumbledore. Dumbledore continued to grin back at him with an insanely bright smile, and a twinkle in his blue eyes.

The portkey was a bottle of sunscreen.


	8. Time Zone Error

I don't own Harry potter, I don't own Disneyland, I don't even own the computer I'm typing on…If you can't tell where this lit

I don't own Harry potter, I don't own Disneyland, I don't even own the computer I'm typing on…If you can't tell where this little speech is going I suggest you get off fanfiction (dot) net and find something simpler to entertain your tiny mind, such as Hampsterdance (dot) com, which I also do not own.

Chapter 8

A moment later all the staff members appeared outside of Disneyland's bright yellow baggage check tents. They looked around them, everything was quiet the gates and the front entrance of the park were completely empty. Soft music emitted from mounted speakers somewhere past the baggage check tables that where pushed together under the yellow tents, completely blocking the way. Snape looked at his watch, it said three thirty in the afternoon, he frowned and did a quick calculation based on the time zones and gave out a small yelp, it was 7:30 in the freaking morning. No wonder no one was around.

McGonagall looked around confused, "why is no one here?" she asked.

"Because the park doesn't open until nine, and it's seven in the morning." Snape snarked at her, he crossed his arms and turned away, pretending to ignore everyone and everything around him.

Minerva started toward the baggage check as if to go past the tables but Snape grabbed her arm. She turned and glared at him but he didn't seem to mind.

"I wouldn't go through there unless you want security chasing after you." He said coolly.

Her eyes widened and she took a step back.

"Well, what are we supposed to do until nine O'clock?" asked Hagrid.

"I believe there is a McDonalds across the street, how about breakfast?" Dumbledore suggested.

Everyone seemed to agree to that. All six of them made their way down to the street entrance of the park. Snape fallowing behind glaring at the loud speakers that dared to play such cheerful music so early in the morning. Once they got to McDonalds, they found it to be fairly crowded. Snape sneered at a group of teenage girls that where giggling in the corner, then dropped him-self into a booth as far from them as possible.

"My, aren't we in a lovely mood this morning" chirped McGonagall.

"My mood was fine, Minerva, until I was dragged here. He looked around the brightly lit and noisy room and scowled. McGonagall laughed and took another sip of her coffee she had ordered before sitting down.

'Severus, why don't you go get your food? You might be in a better mood after you've eaten something." Dumbledore said after returning with a trey of pancakes. Snape looked at the slowly growing line behind the cash register and his mood was in no way improved. Fifteen minutes later he returned with coffee and an Egg McMuffin. The only seat left was next to Trelawney.

She looked at him with huge amounts of frizzy hair and bug eyed glasses and said "I foresee doom!"

Severus raised an eyebrow "Really? That's fascinating." He said in a bored tone of voice. "I don't plan on drowning twice this week."

McGonagall who had just decided to take another sip of her coffee choked on it.

"Please, Severus. Not while we are eating."

Severus gave her a bemused look. Trelawney looked insulted and refused to speak to anyone for the remainder of breakfast; which made everyone very happy, Except for Severus who was still in his own personal version of hell.


	9. Main Street Disneyland

Disclaimer: No, Harry Potter is not mine, anyone wanna help me steal it

Disclaimer: No, Harry Potter is not mine, anyone wanna help me steal it?

Chapter Nine

At eight forty five they all got up and cleared away their breakfast wrappers and headed back over toward the theme park. They got there at nine am exactly. As they walked through bag check Dumbledore handed them each a ticket. Then he proceeded to get into one of the steadily growing lines. When they entered the park they could see a Mickey Mouse made of flowers, and above that a red brick train station on a hill with the entrances just below the train station in the form tunnels on either side. They could hear music and a bell, then a train conductor's voice announcing that the train was now leaving Grand Central Station with trips to New Orleans square, Mickey's Toon Town, and Tomarrowland. Trelawney seemed to shrink back in terror.

"I do not like this place"

McGonagall gave her a quizzical look.

"I noticed upon reentering from breakfast that the address was 1313 Harbor Blvd!!"

Minerva was starting to get annoyed, "So, what does the street address have to do with you not liking this place?" she replied briskly.

"DO YOU NOT SEE?! " Her large bug like eyes became luminous and her arms animated to stress the seriousness of the situation. Minerva stared at her blankly like she was stupid.

"The thirteen's! The pair! When a thirteen fallows a thirteen, that is surely never a good sign." Her hair seemed to frizz up about her as if it had a life of its own.

"Oh, put a sock in it Sybill." Said a voice from behind her, she turned to see Hagrid towering over her with an amused expression half hidden by his bushy beard. "We're here to have fun." He paused, "That goes for you too Snape." His comment was rewarded with a glare from the grouchy potions master.

"Now which way should we go first?" Squeaked Flitwick.

"As if I care." Snape muttered darkly.

"What's that Severus?" Dumbledore asked, "Did you say Toon town?"

Snape had no clue what a Toon was, but he was sure he was not going to enjoy an entire town full of them. Dumbledore looked at the map. Toon town was located toward the back of the park. All six of them set off, they walked under the bridge the train crosses over and Dumbledore pointed out a plaque above their heads that read

'Here you leave the world of today and enter the world of yesterday, tomorrow, and fantasy.'

Snape glared at the cheerful plaque and kept walking hoping there would be no more sentimental gibberish along the way he walked across the street in front of the tunnel and nearly ran into a flag pole surrounded by flowers he looked down and read

'All who come to this happy place, welcome!'

Snape ground his teeth in annoyance. He turned to see the others hurrying after him then they stopped and stared past him he turned to look at what they were staring at. There before them bustling with people was a small replica of a town's main street. There was a candy shop where you could see the people making the candy inside, a fire station complete with a scaled down fire engine, and a city hall. Every shop had bright signs and cheery window decals. The whole street was so disgustingly cheerful and clean that Snape was sure he was in hell. Dumbledore had a complete and opposite opinion than the dreary potions master, he believed he had just arrived in heaven.

Snape looked on in horror as the rest of the group smiled in delight. All five of the Hogwarts teachers rushed on enthusiastically leaving Snape behind glaring at the cheerful sight before him Dumbledore turned back and called to him "Don't be such a spoil sport Severus! Come and Join us." Snape shuddered and reluctantly fallowed after his

colleagues.

Happy Holidays every one.

Please review.


	10. Small World

Disclaimer

Disclaimer.: Harry potter is not mine, Disney is Not mine, The damn computers Not mine. Starting to see a pattern? hmm? All I own is the shiny new I Pod that is currently keeping me entertained.

Small world

Somewhere along the way one of the staff members had procured a map.

'Probably from one of the various cast members that seemed to be stationed around the park with unrealistic cheerful smiles plastered across their faces.' Severus thought.

McGonagall now had the map and was reading about all the 'interesting' things that the park had to offer. She just finished up the paragraph about the worlds fair when Dumbledore looked over her shoulder and declared that the small world ride would be their next stop. Severus sulked along after them. He was sure he could feel the beginnings of a major head ache coming on. Fifteen minutes after navigating through a disgustingly cheerful castle, past a carousel, and what looked like a replica of a cartoon whale with cheerful little Dutch boats sailing through its jaws, they arrived at a wall of geometric shapes and a clock with tiny toy soldiers and dolls that marched gaily through its doors. Severus' jaw dropped in horror as he heard the cheery music emitting from the exit and entrance of the ride.

There were families lined up and loading into boats that he was sure would float them into many minutes of psychological torture by singing dolls. Severus felt a shiver pass down his spine and his palms began to sweat. He paused and slowly took a step back fully intending to retreat. Just then Hagrid turned and noticed that he was trailing behind "Professor?" he called. Snape panicked and took several steps backwards just as the rest of the group noticed. He turned to run but fell backwards into someone's empty stroller. His long black clad legs dangling in the air at odd angles as he attempted to lever himself out of the stroller without success. With a final grunt and twist he managed to fall sideways and crawl out of the damned stroller in time to see Minerva loose all sense of composure and double over laughing. Some God, somewhere, must hate him.

Severus picked himself up, wiping his hands across his clothing to smooth out the various wrinkles and attempted to look as if nothing happened. Out of the corner of his eye he could see the evil glint in the headmasters eyes 'Damn that twinkle to the depths of hell.' he thought bitterly as he prepared himself to meet his doom and get it over with. What Severus did not take into account was that said terrifying ride, moves painfully slow and takes an entire 15 minutes to circulate through.

Five minutes later, after a lot of complaining, begging, and pleading, Severus was seated in the second row of a green pastel boat that tilted slightly to the left as it floated around the curve, past the animal shaped trees and plants, and into the ride itself.


	11. DOOM

Somewhere along the way one of the staff members had procured a map

Disclaimer...It's not mine..."Obviously."

The boat rocked back and forth gently as the flow of water carried them around the curve.

The cheerful tune soon became a chorus of voices singing a repetitive set of lyrics. The boat slowly entered the structure full of singing animatronics. There were bright colors every where and representations of several different countries and nations displaying their customs, ethnicity, and style of dress. The music killed it all. It was sickeningly sweet. Dumbledore was rocking back and forth, clapping his hands in time with the music. He grinned at Severus encouraging him to join in. Snape just stared at the headmaster as if he was a few chessmen short of a game. He buried his head in his hands and waited for it to all be over.

As they all climbed out of the boats Severus scrambled to get out first, nearly tripping on the edge of the boat. He turned to glare at the headmaster who was still grinning broadly.

"See Severus that wasn't so bad."

Severus let out a small sqeek of protest.

Hagrid and Filius where the next two to exit the boat. Flitwick was bouncing around and humming cheerfully while Hagrid looked a little green in the face. Minerva stepped off the small boat and had to fight the smirk that came to her face when she saw everyone's reactions to the ride. Sible stepped off last, and Dumbledore called everyone over to discuss the next ride.

"Settle down, Severus has relayed to me that perhaps more ground may be covered if we split up. Dumbledore smiled. "Are there any objections? No one seemed to be paying attention. Severus sighed in relief, soon he would be able to go off on his own, perhaps find a dark secluded spot and hide. Tom Sawyers Island sounded nice. "Good then we shall pair up." Severus spun to face the headmaster, surely he wouldn't. Would he?

Severus looked to the others for any objections but they had all scrabbled to pair up, not wanting to be stuck with anyone they disliked. Minerva and Filius had immediately paired up. Severus watched in horror as Dumbledore walked over to Hagrid. 'This is not happening.' He thought desperately. He looked at his only option and cringed. She was standing there swaying lightly, she gave out a small hiccup and he could immediately smell sherry coming off her.

'Where in the world did she get alcohol?!" he wondered.

He frowned, "Sible?"

She turned to look at him with large glassy eyes.

"Where did you get the sherry?" He asked.

She frowned and seemed to stumble forward slightly toward him. "I beg your pardon…I am…not dunk." She slurred.

Severus rolled his eyes.

How she got the Sherry past security he would never know, he didn't really want to know, in fact he was extremely hesitant to ask.

What Severus wanted to know was, where the Alcohol came from.

"I'm going to ask you one more time. Where did you get the Sherry?"

She swayed then seemed to consider her answer carefully as if her existence depended on it.

"There was a very nice man, outside the McDonalds." She paused. "He said he'd give me a little if I did something for him."

Snape raised an eyebrow.

Sible leaned in to whisper into his ear, but ended up practically shouting.

Snape winced at the sudden burst of noise.

"He didn't smell very nice so I scourgified him." She stepped back and giggled grinning widely.

"He was so surprised that he just….ran away, leaving all those little bottles behind!"

Suddenly she became very serious.

"I couldn't just leave them behind. That would have been rude!"

Severus noticed the rest of the staff slowly inching away. He turned to face them.

"Oh no. You are not leaving me to face this."

Guilty expressions crossed their faces, and Dumbledore looked as if he was about to run. But the only thing stopping him was Minerva casually stepping on his shoelace.

Due to Sybil's condition it was decided that they would not be separating into groups. Over the next hour the Hogwarts staff spent their time exploring fantasy land. Everything went well until they reached the snow white ride. Just as the evil hag was turning away from the mirror crying "With this disguise, I'll fool them all!" everything in the ride stopped moving. In the first car sat Minerva and Albus in the front and Hagrid took up the back seat. The second cart held Snape and flitwik in front while Trelawney dozed in the back.

"What's happing? Why have we stopped?" shouted a man from further down the ride.

Suddenly the music stopped and the lights turned on, across the speaker system came the voice of the ride operator. "Please remain seated. A ride attendant will be with you shortly to help you to the exit.

Snape groaned and slid further down in the plastic seat covering his eyes from the sudden burst of light from over head. He could feel a head ache starting from just above his right temple.

A few minutes later the ride attendant came around to lead them to the exit.

Sible trailed slightly behind the rest of the group " I ...hic...told you I for..forsaw... dooom." Everyone turned to look at her at the same time with equal expressions of annoyance.

"Might I suggest," Snape sneered "that from this point onward that you keep those kinds of remarks to your self Trelawney." Then turned to billow his non existent robes, and lead the way outside to where the others were waiting.

AN/sorry it took so very long...I'm finishing up school. I exit with my trade certification next Friday. So hopefully You will see more updates from me. I just couldn't write comedy when living at school was sucking all the joy out of my life.


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